Tuesday, December 9, 2008

In A Play Anyway

Based on Iamaphoney's YouTube Channel, it appears that a new Rotten Apple video should be coming soon, although the date doesn't seem clear. You know how it is. For those anxiously anticipating the big event, I wanted to do a very different type of post today. Instead of simply sharing things that I know, I wanted to go one better, just this once, and actually make some stuff up.

That's right. The following account is fictional. I made it up during a long drive recently. Any similarity between the characters in this play and actual persons living or dead is purely the result of my madness. For those who have been requesting more information than I actually know about Iamaphoney, this post is for you. Those who are interested in facts, trivia and speculation might want to skip today's post and tune in tomorrow.

The Iamaphoney Story: Act IX, Scene 1


Setting: A recording studio in KĂžbenhavn, Denmark. It is early March 2008. The room is filled with computers, recording gear, and instruments. Ian sits at a Macintosh computer next to a large mixing console. There is a large Sgt. Pepper poster on the wall behind him. He is reading an email from someone he calls the Advisor’s typist. His associate arrives looking a bit disheveled.

Ian: Been drinking again?
M: Fine, how are you?
Ian: Sorry. Good thing you’re here. We’ll be hearing from the advisor any minute.
M: I thought he was too sick to…
Ian: That’s why I got your ass in here. This must be really important.
M: Really. How long has it been?
Ian: I talked to the typist about two months ago, you know about the papers. But yesterday I got this email saying to get you here today at 3:00 for this online chat.
M: Out of the blue?
Ian: Yeah.
M: What time is it in America?
Ian: I don't know. America has too many time zones.
M: Why didn’t he just call on the phone?
Ian: I don’t know. The typist says his voice is weak and this way is easier…Shit, here it is. Get over here. If he asks you to say anything, don’t do any of that net talk shit. He hates that. Pretend you’re writing a letter to Grandpa.


A: Pardon the intrusion. I trust you are well.

I: Yes, thank you. M is here with me as you requested. Hope you are feeling better.

A: Please don’t make me say good days and bad. Down to business.

I: Listening.

A: Concerned about this interview.

I: We have everything under control.

A: Bullocks. Why interview? Haven't you told him enough?

I: Mikey has been a little fighter for us, so I wanted to do something special for him.

A: Not this.

I: ?

A: Interview is a bad idea

I: We have it under control. I made him submit questions ahead of time. We won’t give away anything. Just more puzzles.

A: This is not your project. We've come a long way from those bits from radio shows you were doing when I found you. Realize that this is all happening several tiers above you now. You must not make them unhappy.

I: It will be fine.

A: And the date, mere happenstance?

I: April 10

A: Right, are you out of your mind?

I: Not good?

A: I cannot be connected with this in any way. NO APRIL 10

I: No one will figure that out. I thought it was appropriate.

A: April 10 puts me in the circle. Not acceptable. You underestimate the intelligence of your audience and your puzzles are too simple. Forget the interview.

I: What do I tell Mikey?

A: Tell him anything, no april 10!

I: If he turns on us, we’re in trouble. The natives are getting restless.

A: Is M still there?

I: m here

A: M, give Mikey some tracks. No interview

I: m again. how many tracks?

A: Nothing new, but give him a clean recording of St. Paul and maybe one or two others.

I: This is Ian again. Don’t know how Tafultong will react to no interview.

A: Taful what?

I: The guy who does the Iamaphoney blog.

A: Taful is not as smart as he thinks he is.

I: Everyone knows that. But he said he was doing a special tribute to us in April culminating with the interview on the 10th.

A:You didn’t tell him anything did you?

I: No no.

A: Good.

I: But I don’t know what he’ll write if I let everybody down who's waiting for this interview.

A: Throw together a new video, but don’t release it on April 10. A new vid should satisfy your blogger for now.

I: We’re going to lose fans if we delay this interview.

A: Trust me, by this time next year they will all hate you. Don't expect my superiors to care either. I have worked for these people for a long time. Never give a timetable ---- ever! Wait for them to contact you. Be patient. If people lose interest, que sera sera. It is not your game to lose anyway.

I: Yes, sir.

A: And don’t make any more promises. Lord knows I won’t be making any more promises.

I: What do you mean?

A: There's nothing you can do that can't be done.

I: Anything else I need to know?

A: Stay the course. And Happy Easter.

“A” has left the room.

Ian: You heard the man. Let’s make a few phone calls and throw together a new video.
M: Why did I ever get into this?
Ian: Really.

75 comments:

Anonymous said...

Poop

Anonymous said...

Poop?

65if2007 said...

April 10, 2008 was the 38th anniversary of McCartney announcing that he was leaving the Beatles.

Is that it?

Beatles/McCartney history is pretty ubiquitous though.

What date would have been safe? My guess is that any date would have been an anniversary of SOMETHING.

Anonymous said...

Great post, Taf!!!

See I'm here too spilling my mindless drivel in an effort to be be herd too.

Gr8!

Tafultong said...

65if2007 said...

April 10, 2008 was the 38th anniversary of McCartney announcing that he was leaving the Beatles.

Is that it?


That is true, but that date was the anniversary of something else. Let's see if you or anyone else comes up with it.

Anonymous said...

you fail, taf

Anonymous said...

Deleted over 10 comments thus far only praising him for such sensational post.

Anonymous said...

Deleted over 10 comments thus far only praising him for such sensational post.

Anonymous said...

AWESOME, DUDE!!

Anonymous said...

AMAZING!!! Keep up the god work.

CommenterGV said...

FUCKING SHIT HEAD KEEPS DELETING POSTS!!!

CARE TO EXPLAIN YOURSELF TAFULTONG?

WHY DOES MY OPINION NOT MATTER HERE?

Anonymous said...

I see you leave the comments that stroke your ego....

Anonymous said...

Ban me all you want, but your still a fucking tool.

Anonymous said...

FUCKING GOD DAMNED AMAZING MOTHER FUCKING POST!!!!

SHIT!!!

Anonymous said...

BAN ME AGAIN! I DAR YU!

Anonymous said...

GREATEST POST EVER!!!

HOW DO YOU CONTINUE TO DO IT? SURELY YOU MUST CENSOR! :D

Anonymous said...

Amazing post!

Keep up the hard work!!!

Anonymous said...

April 10, 1962: Stu Sutcliffe dies of a brain hemorrhage.

Anonymous said...

We're on to something! Good detective work.

and AWESOME POST!!

I've seen Tafultong delete over 30 postive comments tonight. Strange

Anonymous said...

April 10, 1964: The Beatles' Second Album released.

Anonymous said...

great post, Taf!

Can't wait to hear more...

Tafultong said...

Anonymous said...

April 10, 1962: Stu Sutcliffe dies of a brain hemorrhage.

Yes, that happened on April 10 also. There is still something else.

Anonymous said...

April 10, 1964?!?!

One golden dawn
One summer night
With nothing left to say
We let the dream begin
It was carried on the wind
And it wandered away
One golden sky
One spark of light
Forever will remain
And the song of the storm
Brought us close
Kept us warm
All alone making love
In the rain
Gone is the world outside
Home on the turning tide
True love will find the sun
And know the reason why
You make me hunger for
You whispered mi amor
Over the ocean's roar
And the night will become our golden dawn
Two hearts as one
No tears to cry
With you I have it all
If love can never die
I'm not afraid to fly
But how far must I fall
One silver song
One lullaby
For all the love that we make
It's the look in your eyes
It's the moon on the rise
It's the sound of the heart
That you break
Gone is the dark of night
Call of the early glow
Send down the birds of love
That circle us below
And still I will hunger for
You whispering mi amor
Over the ocean's roar
And your arms reach for me
And the shine on the sea
And the night will become
Our golden dawn


GREAT POST!!

Tafultong said...

It's funny how I am taken seriously when I delete a few comments. Lighten up. Doesn't it make you smile that I deleted like 8 that said great post and left two that said poop?

To the person who says I'm a tool. Please write a post explaining why. I won't delete that.

Have a good night everyone. Peace and love.

Anonymous said...

April 10, 1999, Paul McCartney performed at the tribute "Concert for Linda" in the Royal Albert Hall

Anonymous said...

Those freaks was right when they said you was dead,
The one mistake you made was in your head.

65if2007 said...

http://history.absoluteelsewhere.net/April/april10.html

I don't know. Whatever it was seems to have escaped whoever put together this Beatles timeline.

None of the other events associated with the Beatles and April 10, including the concert for Linda, seem to be that earth-shaking.

Anonymous said...

Great post!

Great follow-up.

Anonymous said...

Aamzing. Great post!

Anonymous said...

Goodnigh and Goodbye! Great post!

CommenterGV said...

Great post!

Anonymous said...

Magical Mystery tour bus on display all day April 10th, 2007, Hard Rock Cafe, Cleveland.

lol

Anonymous said...

I do believe you are on to something!!!

MY GOD!!! MILES?! IS THAT YOU?

Simply amazing!!!

Anonymous said...

Neil Aspinall resigned from Apple Corps on April 10

Anonymous said...

You are welcome.

Anonymous said...

Neil Aspinall resigned from Apple Corps on April 10

December 9, 2008 10:31 PM

2007

Anonymous said...

Great Blog Taf. Only a tool because you probably don't make a penny off it. Where is the link to buy the book?

Anonymous said...

April 10 seems to be a good date for new beginnings.

Anonymous said...

even if a 12-month subscription is the only available payment option.

When does the CD/DVD come out? I understand that the Danish have a bit lengthier process getting such a project to the presses.

Anonymous said...

Great post!

Anonymous said...

I thought the "Great post"'s represent a pushing of the boundaries of what is accepted as the norm or the status quo.

Nonetheless, great post.

Anonymous said...

For real!

As in vibration! CERN! Believe.

Anonymous said...

Roll over and wake him up.

I AM HE said...

Lift up your soul.

65if2007 said...

"Neil Aspinall resigned from Apple Corps on April 10"


Anonymous, I'm sure that when Tafultong gets up and goes back to this blog, he'll read that entry and say "You've got it!"

That's why "Ian", "M", and "Advisor" are expressing concern about "Advisor's" health in early March 2008.

Because Advisor would die on March 23.

Anonymous said...

In other news, Sir Paul is in trouble over some boorish behavior:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/celebritynews/3698392/Sir-Paul-McCartney-refuses-to-cull-wild-boar-on-his-estate.html

Anonymous said...

I think this was the best post in a long time! congrats taf!

Anonymous said...

1) april 10th, 1970--UK release of the soundtrack LP "The Magic Christian."

2) please continue the Story - i like it!!!

Anonymous said...

What a sad story. I'm crying.

65if2007 said...

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/celebritynews/3698392/Sir-Paul-McCartney-refuses-to-cull-wild-boar-on-his-estate.html


Ah. Just as a pacifist has been defined as one who will fight anyone except the enemy, a radical vegetarian might be defined as one who loves four-legged animals and has no concern for two-legged ones.

Tafultong said...

65if2007 said...

"Neil Aspinall resigned from Apple Corps on April 10"


Anonymous, I'm sure that when Tafultong gets up and goes back to this blog, he'll read that entry and say "You've got it!"


Yes, you've got it. I'm impressed by anonymous for getting it and by 65if2007 for recognizing it right away.

I don't think you can find that information by looking up April 10. You have to look up April 11 and find the news article that says Neil Aspinall quit the Beatles yesterday.

The funny thing is that it makes those other things that happened on April 10 seem somehow more relevant.

Also, April 10, 2008 is the day my PC crashed and I lost some important newer files that I had not backed up yet. That was the day I decided to go from PC to Mac.

Thanks everybody. The next post should be back to my usual drivel.

GB said...

I loved your post, Tafultong. It's remarkably close to what actually took place.

Anonymous said...

and who are you, GB?

Anonymous said...

i dunno, but i'm sure some random troll is going to try answer that question for you using the name GB.

Tafultong said...

GB said...

I loved your post, Tafultong. It's remarkably close to what actually took place.

GB, you are tremendous, and nobody knows like me.

Anonymous said...

oh yeah, forgot about them. Thanks at least for not being one.

fes up GB,

Anonymous said...

what do you know taf? are you talking to yourself?

Tafultong said...

Anonymous said...

what do you know taf? are you talking to yourself?

If I ever say anything that seems cryptic, it is only because I am not opposed to saying a line or making a joke that only McCartney fans will get.

So, if I say something that appears off the wall, you can usually google it to get your answer. It's not meant to be condescending in any way.

So, no, I am not talking to myself. Words of a feather are worn in a hat.

Anonymous said...

I see. Thank you Tafultong.

Anonymous said...

Was there a ykmn-like reason you used Son of Man as the icon for the "A" character who left the room?

Tafultong said...

Anonymous said...

Was there a ykmn-like reason you used Son of Man as the icon for the "A" character who left the room?

The place where I have received pictures in the past was called Ian's gallery, so I used that icon for Ian. So, then I tried to think of what would be an appropriate icon for the mysterious character. There wasn't a lot of thought that went into it, but I thought the idea of something related to Apple, yet still unknown would make "Son of Man" an ideal candidate.

I don't mind it being interpreted as a nod to YKMN though. I thought his videos kept getting better and better (and better), not to mention more thought-provoking. Plus I have always liked and respected John Charles.

Anonymous said...

Oh good, another IAAP video is on the way. Everyone can expect the same subliminal pictures from the last 5 videos to be randomly arranged around old bullshit again.

Either that or Youtube's own John Lennon will talk to the media about his playing dead in time for IAAP to throw a clip in his video, that could be exciting.

Anonymous said...

GB=Geoff Baker and/or George Bush.

Anonymous said...

Nothing to do with this post , but very rare item (not for sale)... book of ruppert the bear belonged to paul and michel mccartney in their childhood

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/70/191767928_8c0e1c6ca1.jpg

Anonymous said...

April 10th=Neil Aspinall
Neil Aspinall=Apollo C. Vermouth

From Iamaphoney's comments:
(3 days ago)

hobostankjr said..The comment of the year! I'm back and then gone again. Gave up the game. Apollo and I say goodbye.

This guy was always on there making crude sex jokes and then had a freak out a few months ago where he threatened to expose "Apollo" and then he vanished for a few months. Suddenly he's back to say goodbye on behalf of Apollo and now Tafultong brings the subject up again.

Connection?....Hello?

MikeNL said...

Anonymous said...
April 10th=Neil Aspinall
Neil Aspinall=Apollo C. Vermouth

From Iamaphoney's comments:
(3 days ago)

hobostankjr said..The comment of the year! I'm back and then gone again. Gave up the game. Apollo and I say goodbye.

This guy was always on there making crude sex jokes and then had a freak out a few months ago where he threatened to expose "Apollo" and then he vanished for a few months. Suddenly he's back to say goodbye on behalf of Apollo and now Tafultong brings the subject up again.

Connection?....Hello?

December 10, 2008 1:36 PM

IT'S A CARROT!

see the connections.

Anonymous said...

Ian and (M)artin Lind

Anonymous said...

What a shock. Hobostankjr's account is now closed. Two hours ago it was open.

I love how these Phonies shit their pants in public when you call them out.

Miles Denton Oliver said...

Very nice post, Tafultong.
That's the spirit!

Anonymous said...

Yeah Miles have fun with it! It's all a game anyway.

Tafultong said...

Anonymous wrote:

Suddenly he's back to say goodbye on behalf of Apollo and now Tafultong brings the subject up again.

Connection?....Hello?


The Iamaphoney camp has been trying to associate itself to Neil for a long time now. That's why I put it in my fictional account.

I don't really get MikeNL's response to your post.

Anonymous said...

Hobostankjr came off as a bit of a moron. Still, his "freakout" comment on IAAP's site made it pretty clear that Apollo C. Vermouth was still around and being a "douche" for what that's worth. I have a sneaking suspicion the "Apollo" on NIR was not Neil Aspinall but instead is someone involved with IAAP or a hoaxer looking to light up a forum for his (or her) own amusement.

There have been a few cryptic comments on this blog alluding to "Apollo" being around and still playing games so I'm inclined to agree that he's among the living.

Just what the blog needs, right? More cryptic comments that never actually add up to anything. :)

Tafultong said...

Anonymous wrote:


Just what the blog needs, right? More cryptic comments that never actually add up to anything. :)


I hope that I'm not the perceived as cryptolyzing. If it ever appears that way, I assure you that it must be a joke aimed for the part of my audience that is as much of a Beatles fan as I am.

Anonymous said...

"I have a sneaking suspicion the "Apollo" on NIR was not Neil Aspinall but instead is someone involved with IAAP or a hoaxer looking to light up a forum for his (or her) own amusement."

For it is worth, Apollo was around near the inception of the 60IF forum. He was in no way associated with IAAP, and that is a fact.

Tafultong said...

Anonymous wrote:

For it is worth, Apollo was around near the inception of the 60IF forum. He was in no way associated with IAAP, and that is a fact.

That's right.

My impression is that Iamaphoney is trying to claim a connection to Neil, but steers clear of Apollo. I melded the identities together in my skit (which you are welcome to perform at home) but there is no attempt that I have seen of either camp trying to link Apollo and Iamaphoney.

Someone says Apollo = Neil
Someone else says Iamaphoney's leader = Neil

I think that I am the only one who implied both, but that was in an intentionally fictional account.

I hope that makes sense.