Wednesday, June 17, 2009

"Turn Me On, Dead Man" Movie

Scheduled for release tomorrow is a short film entitled "Turn Me On, Dead Man."



According to the Frayed Edge Films website, "This is a high concept period piece serving as an allegory for the Paul McCartney 'Paul is dead' conspiracy theory/hoax."



The 22-minute film stars Joe Reegan and David Moscow. The director, Adam Blake Carver opted to create a fictional band with Beatle haircuts. Carver's description of his inspiration for the film reveals that he is not a first generation fan, or even that much of a fan in general. He spoke of discovering the clue of Lennon singing "He's dead, he's dead" when the song "Let It Be" is played backwards. Not many would attribute the vocal of "Let It Be" to Lennon unless he or she truly believed that John was "the man of a thousand voices." There is some evidence that Tyler Knell, the Co-Writer and Co-Producer of the film actually listened to and enjoyed the Beatles music, sometimes even playing it forwards.

The film contains original music by the Bumblebees based on various styles reflecting the time period. I don't think they quite nailed the Beatles sound, but they seem to have all of the tools necessary for a Rutles tribute band. If you go to the backstage section of the film's website, you can see and hear them in action. They state in the music section that they are willing to make music "in exchange for anything" so I would imagine that you could get them to play "Paul Is Dead" music at your next backyard cookout.

Based on the advanced information, I believe the film does have at least one redeeming feature----A Volkswagen.



With a release date of June 18, 2009, I assume that "Turn Me On, Dead Man" can be seen somewhere tomorrow.

Perhaps Iamaphoney has gone about this thing in the wrong way...

2,572 comments:

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Anonymous said...

D'oh!!!

Milton said...

ha ha!

Anonymous said...

Movie! Movie!

Yoko Ono said...

Yes

Anonymous said...

This blog entry: 407 comments from the same 5 people

Rotten Apple 75 W: 47 comments from the same 5 people

Tafultong trumps Phoney once again!

Anonymous said...

is here Yoko?

Anonymous said...

The Beatles won't reunite as long as John remains dead.

But Jeff Leland is John Lennon?

So there might be a reunion on 9.9.09?

Anonymous said...

I'm going to see the cast of Beatlemania tonight.
Does that count as a reunion?

Anonymous said...

From S3an L3nnon

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Neym6SYv5os

Anonymous said...

"E" for effort.

Jeff Leland said...

RIP Michael Jackson

Anonymous said...

the king is dead, long live the king!

E for everyone!

Anonymous said...

All you need is Love!

Mind Gorillas In The Mist said...

Anonymous said...
I'm going to see the cast of Beatlemania tonight.
Does that count as a reunion?

June 25, 2009 2:42 PM




WE bet they get laid like reunion crazy.

Anonymous said...

The truth can finally be revealed.

Paul McCartney said...

50 years from now, he'll be back.

Neverland said...

Funny the Way It Is

Anonymous said...

new s3anl3nn0n video

Anonymous said...

NO!!!!!!!!!!!!! RIP Michael Jackson


:((((((((((((

Anonymous said...

Celebrities die in threes:

McMahon
Fawcett
Jackson

Anonymous said...

Jackson is proof that celebs aren't replaced when they die to keep up appearances. If it were true, his death would have been hushed, and it would have been business as usual; the upcoming tour would go on as planned. Instead, 750,000 people are out of luck.

Anonymous said...

McMahon
Fawcett
Jackson




ooohhhhhh

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
Jackson is proof that celebs aren't replaced when they die to keep up appearances. If it were true, his death would have been hushed, and it would have been business as usual; the upcoming tour would go on as planned. Instead, 750,000 people are out of luck.

June 25, 2009 5:37 PM


We hare at PID will ignore this statement since we can't come up with a good answer. It's what we do. RIP Michael

Anonymous said...

I just hope the NIR and PID crowd can understand Michael's death in terms of the real world this time, and not as a puzzle piece in their collective fantasy.

Let us not hear more ugly rumors that the Illuminati was behind his death, or that he is secretly alive and faked his death or some other nonsense.

Life happens. Death happens. Respect both for what they are.

Farewell Peter Pan!

Musketeer Gripweed said...

So long, Michael.

Anonymous said...

A crowd is already gathering in the streets of L.A., lining up to be part of Jackson's funeral procession.

http://i.dailyherald.com/stories/80/80977.jpg

Anonymous said...

fuck this blog and its creator.

he has created a playland for raving lunatics..

He doesnt even try anymore because he knows IAAP is a phony.

TAFULTONG SHITFUCKS THE SHIT YOU ALL EAT. AND HE LOVES IT!

MJ and FF died today, can the real Mc die, so all this shit will be over with?

Anonymous said...

fuck this blog and its creator.

he has created a playland for raving lunatics..

He doesnt even try anymore because he knows IAAP is a phony.

TAFULTONG SHITFUCKS THE SHIT YOU ALL EAT. AND HE LOVES IT!

MJ and FF died today, can the real Mc die, so all this shit will be over with?

Anonymous said...

at :27

can anyone else see a younger man that resembles john lennon?

Anonymous said...

The S3anl3nn0n video?

Jeff Leland said...

You know what Michael is now?

Free.

Anonymous said...

Jackson is proof of using an alien to replace someone. It was a bad idea...

Dr. Winston O' said...

MJ's Beatle songs are coming home.

It's another clue.

Anonymous said...

Cmon Jeff....

Get ready for the Iamaphoney Blog special edition for michael jackson

John Lennon said...

I'll be performing once again!

Come Together was mine.

He shoot, coca cola.

Anonymous said...

they always go in 3s

Jeff Leland said...

I know.

I'm sorry :(

RIP Michael

Jeff Leland said...

Holy shit.

I just looked in the mirror and I see white powder on my nose.

He shoot cocacola said...

Jeff Leland, stop doing drugs! If you're Jesus, you can't be killed by taking drugs.

You're no superhuman yet!

Eminem said...

Taf should make a blog about Jeff Leland.

WELCOME BACK!

"Guess who's back, back again"

Anonymous said...

Oh GOD

Anonymous said...

444

Anonymous said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=joNVRGtWtnU

Rumors 'R' Us said...

So Miles Deo was Michael Jackson?!

Anonymous said...

You know what Michael is now?
Free.

No, he's dead. Whether he's 'Free' is anyone's guess.

Vince Spaghetti said...

Another victim falls prey to that evil demon Faul.

iamaphoney said...

Told ya so!

Anonymous said...

500!

Anonymous said...

Wrong!!

Anonymous said...

Is he really really dead?

Or did he only look that way?
(How could they tell? He's looked that way for years!)

Anonymous said...

Victor Spaghettitini said...
Another victim falls prey to that evil demon Faul.

lol

Desultory Philip said...

who said what to whom?
look at the pretty pictures!
ever painted a munchkin?
that is a lot of catnip!
never mind the quakers.
eat bread!

Jeff Leland said...

Anonymous said...
Is he really really dead?

Or did he only look that way?
(How could they tell? He's looked that way for years!)


GOOD ONE!

Anonymous said...

You ready for this..........

A personal friend of the family stated Jackson is not dead; he faked his death to escape his debts. He is starting his new life in Chicago and will work at Vito & Nick's Pizzeria as a chef. He figured with his skin condition he could blend in best there since the pizza's are hand tossed and the chefs are always pasty looking as they are usually tinted with flour.

Keep your eyes peeled JohnCharles2007! You may get a glimpse of him in your neighborhood.

Best of luck MJ!

Anonymous said...

mmmm pizza

Anonymous said...

Don't stop 'til you get enough.

Anonymous said...

Taf's new blog will be about McCartney and Jackson. From the song collaborations to the Beatle publishing rights.

Anonymous said...

tafultong please come back!!!!

COME TOGETHER! said...

1 legend died so another can perform.

Noskcaj Leahcim said...

He's dead, Heeeeeeee's dead, He's de-ead.

Nashunal Inquirer said...

Will Prince (the artist formerly known as) be next?

sob sob boo hoo said...

No more Super Bowl appearances...

Linda LaToya said...

But don'tcha know: 'Twas Paul that died! He and Michael traded places!

Anonymous said...

Hear that everybody? Our friend here has just given us a great idea!
We'll just put the books any damn place we choose!

Anonymous said...

New Iamaphoney-related video clip on the "Blll" Clinton Channel (with music):

youtube.com/user/BlllClinton

Anonymous said...

I'm keeping an eye on this channel:

/user/MlCHAELJACKSON

Anonymous said...

I can't get BIII Clinton's YT video to download.

Anonymous said...

Waiting on the liner notes.

Anonymous said...

^

470

it might get loud said...

(intermission to 1K)


hey Miles, how are you doing?

Anonymous said...

Happy Vacation T!

Anonymous said...

Michael Jackson moved me, all right—all the way to page 10D!

Ten fucking D!

You know what? Someone up there—I mean, someone up here—must really hate my fucking guts. Ever since Charlie's Angels, I have struggled to be paid the goddamn respect I deserve. Do you think it's easy propping up the lust of an entire generation with only a one-piece swimsuit and professionally feathered hair? IT IS NOT.

Three years ago, I come down with anal cancer. (ANAL CANCER. I told you someone up here hates my guts.) Anyway, I fight against this fucking disease for three fucking years and hold on as long as I can and seek alternate treatments and go on TV to buck up other cancer victims and amaze my friends with my bravery and tenacity and then my body finally gives out and I die. And while it sucks to be dead, at least I know I'll be memorialized up what's left of my wazoo—AP stories, prominent obituaries, the full Larry King treatment.

BUT NO. Michael Jackson—that freaky little attention whore—has to drop dead on the SAME FUCKING DAY, taking my dreams of posthumous respect with him. He gets the giant, full-color picture on the front page of USA Today. His obit starts on the cover. What do I get? A box on the upper right-hand corner directing people to my obit—which begins on page fucking 10 of section fucking D! And guess what else? There's a box on the upper left-hand corner of USA Today. Who got that box? MICHAEL FUCKING JACKSON.

I can't fucking win. Honestly, I would go up and slap the white off that bitch's faces if I could. But I can't. BECAUSE HE'S NOT UP HERE. Someone go tell that to all the weeping fatties who seem to think that a string of hits in the '80s excuses a string of sex crimes in the '90s. That's right, I said it: He raped kids. HE DID IT. You know he did it. And we can say it now because you can't libel the dead, fuckers, and that goes double if the person doing the libeling is dead herself!

Oh, shit. Gotta run. Aaron Spelling just saw me. How the fuck did he get in here?

http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/michael-jackson-moved-me/Content?oid=1756454

Anonymous said...

Whoah, Farrah's pissed!

My type of laugh! said...

GOOD ONE LOL

Elizabeth Taylor said...

My heart…my mind… are broken. I loved Michael with all my soul and I can’t imagine life without him. We had so much in common and we had such loving fun together. I was packing up my clothes to go to London for his opening when I heard the news. I still can’t believe it. I don’t want to believe it. It can’t be so. He will live in my heart forever but it’s not enough. My life feels so empty. I don’t think anyone knew how much we loved each other. The purest most giving love I’ve ever known. Oh God! I’m going to miss him. I can’t yet imagine life with out him. But I guess with God’s help... I’ll learn. I keep looking at the photo he gave me of himself, which says, 'To my true love Elizabeth, I love you forever.' And, I will love HIM forever.

Jeff Leland said...

I'll never stop

Richard Burton is Dead said...

Going to watch Cleopatra tonight. Allllll night long. WINK WINK WINK

Jeff Leland said...

I need a!

MilesDeo said...

Someone asked me a question about something posted.

Just so you know: I haven't posted since page one of the comments.

Anonymous said...

Here to help Miles, talk to me

Jeff Leeeland said...

Michael is the only person I know who was born a black man and died a white woman

Anonymous said...

Odd that Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson died on the same day


one had relationships with Majors and the other..... Minors

Anonymous said...

Michael Jackson rang the paramedics to report his illness, the paramedic asked how sick are you?


he replied

I'm in bed with Mcauley Culkin,
HOW SICK IS THAT?

Anonymous said...

/I'll be here all night

Anonymous said...

/be sure to tip your waitperson

Anonymous said...

/1,000 comment by July 1

Morphine by MJackson said...

Interestingly, Jackson wrote a song called "Morphine" in 1997. One of the lyrics -- "Demerol. Demerol. Oh God he's taking Demerol."


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0m--XV-CfRA

PauI McCartney said...

I feel privileged to have hung out and worked with Michael. He was a massively talented boy man with a gentle soul. His music will be remembered forever and my memories of our time together will be happy ones.

Anonymous said...

I feel privileged to have hung out and worked with Michael. He was a massively talented boy man with a gentle soul. His music will be remembered forever and my memories of our time together will be happy ones.

June 26, 2009 10:55 PM

"boy man"....that made me laugh. Paul's funny.

Paul McCartney said...

PS
I want my music back.

You won't be needing it....
Now that you are dead.

Jeff Leland said...

Yeah Paul! You get that music for me!

Anonymous said...

Like a flower!

GN said...

"Michael is the only person I know who was born a black man and died a white woman"

Well, except for Faulina McCartney, of course.

Anonymous said...

"I still can’t believe it. I don’t want to believe it. It can’t be so. He will live in my heart forever but it’s not enough. My life feels so empty. I don’t think anyone knew how much we loved each other. The purest most giving love I’ve ever known. Oh God! I’m going to miss him."

Liz was Replaced!

Princess Die said...

I'm not really dead.

Anonymous said...

Funny, I haven't heard much from his jealous siblings.

Ex wife Debbie said...

So he's gone, eh? Good riddance! The little bugger.

The Count said...

500!

Guff Faugh said...

Odd that Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson died on the same day
one had relationships with Majors and the other..... Minors

LOL

Miss Vivian Stanshall said...

Oh thank God! Now I don't have to put on that silly mask anymore.

With a Little Luck said...

1,000 comment by July 1

We can do it!

Prince Michael and Paris Jackson said...

Oh thank God! Now we don't have to put on those silly masks anymore.

Yoko the not-so-good Witch of the East said...

Good work, Faul. Ecccsellent!

(Wicked Witch of the West cackle: )
Aaaah hah hah hah haha hah ha!

National Observer said...

Has anyone noticed that since the death of Michael Jackson, there haven't been any Iamaphoney videos?

And not only that, but Iamaphoney and Michael Jackson have never been seen in the same room at the same time!

Ringo Starr said...

Michael was always a little twerp!

Bubbles said...

It was all i could do not to tear his face off!
Oh wait a minute....I did!

Hulk Hogan said...

You guys are brutal!

twenty five thirty said...

510 15 20

Sure-Lock Homes said...

Funny how this thread is called "Turn Me on Dead Man", and then Michael Jackson dies, eh?

Macaulay Culkin said...

Dibs on the Ferris Wheel!

Troo faks said...

Did you know that "Home Alone" was directed by Chris Columbus?

Sure-Lock Homes Alone said...

No, I didnt.

Anonymous said...

Johnny Depp is going to shoot off the world's largest soap-bubbles-cannon.

In a Blizzard.... said...

Don't go chasing polar bears.

Anonymous said...

Odd. tafultong hasn't posted since Michael Jackson died.

Anonymous said...

Oh that's stupid! Why would tafultong be Michael Jackson?

Mahalia Jackson said...

Hell, for all the money he had, I'd be Michael Jackson!
And I died of heart failure too!

Wikipedophile said...

Mahalia Jackson (October 26, 1911[1] – January 27, 1972) was an African-American gospel singer, widely regarded as the best in the history of the genre, and is the first "Queen of Gospel Music".

Barackolli Obamus said...

What's with all these "Kings", "Queens", and "Princes"? Why no Tzars?

Mick Jagged Little Pillow said...

I shouted out: "Who killed the Kennedys?"
When after all, it was Faul McCartney.

"Michelle" Ma Bell Obamus said...

Now Mick, Faul is a great guy, and you know it!

Codex Faulimentarius said...

525

Barney Frankfurter said...

You know, of course, that none of this hate speech will be permissable after the "Shut-the-F-Up!" bill is passed in Congress.

Fire Door Mikhaylovich Dostoyevsky said...

Of course you know...this means war and peace.

Leo Paul'story said...

You Paul-agerist! Trying to steal my thunder!

Thor McZeus said...

My thunder!

The Beached Buoys said...

And she'll have fun fun fun
'til her daddy Zeus takes the T-bird away!

God Zillah said...

Look out! There's a monster coming!

the loch ness said...

Monster T Bird fight!

Anonymous said...

Michael Jackson's death sparks Florida bus brawl

MIAMI (Reuters) - A fight broke out on a Florida bus when news of Michael Jackson's death sparked debate over whether he should be remembered as a great musical talent, and one passenger was charged with assault, police said on Friday.

The bus was moving through the city of North Lauderdale on Thursday when passenger James Kiernan received a text message about Jackson's death on his cell phone, and he read it aloud on the bus, the Broward County Sheriff's Department said.

The unidentified bus driver opined that "Michael Jackson should have been in jail long ago," prompting Kiernan, 60, to retort that "the world just lost a great musical talent," the police report said.

It said the last remark enraged another passenger, Henry Wideman, who started a swearing match with Kiernan, then pulled out a knife and chased Kiernan down the aisle with it.

The driver called his dispatcher and pulled over near a convenience store to wait for sheriff's deputies, who arrested Wideman, 54. He remained in jail on Friday on a charge of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon.

Anonymous said...

What's with people always carrying knives on busses?

Mike said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EokvRFX9DCE&hd=1

shaggedy!

say, half of them who works this out!

Jeff Leland said...

Demerol, Demerol Oh God he is taken Demerol!

the key said...

the lock smith is on the way

Jeff Leland said...

The locksmith ain't touching me!

Anonymous said...

too late, the gate is OPEN

Anonymous said...

McCartney's other eye!

Jeff Leland said...

I just killed a zombie.

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!?

Anonymous said...

Harmless Game

Anonymous said...

9536 is a former mccartney address? or what mike?

Anonymous said...

Yellow matter custard.

Anonymous said...

because there are people out there waiting

Anonymous said...

come back tafultong

Anonymous said...

Dig it, dig it, dig it

Dig it, dig it, dig it, dig it, dig it, dig it, dig it, dig it



[That was 'Can You Dig It' by Georgie Wood.

And now we'd like to do 'Hark The Angels Come'.]

Anonymous said...

"I dig a Pygmy by Charles Hawtrey and the Deaf Aids... Phase One in which Doris gets her oats."

Anonymous said...

The "Michael Jackson faked his death and Michael is alive" garbage has already started. PID has to move over a little to fit in the latest vomit from the human garbage known as conspiracy freaks.

Anonymous said...

"I had another look and I had a cup of tea and butter pie
(the butter wouldnt melt so I put it in the pie)
"

Anonymous said...

Well I Was Hacking My Way Through The Undergrowth,
Juggling With My Pride,
When I Saw Errol Flynn In A Tiger Skin,
And I Said You Look Satisfied!!
Well He Looked Down At Me From His Motor Home,
And He Gave Me A Dirty Smile,
He Said Well Yes I Am But She's Calling Me,
Would You Excuse Us For A While
Move Over Busker, Your Day Is Done.
Move Over Busker, My Time Has Come.

Anonymous said...

by Georg ie Wood.

Anonymous said...

are you ready?

Anonymous said...

555!

Anonymous said...

Well ain't that just sumpthin'!

Anonymous said...

is it?

Anonymous said...

Dear Prudence won't you open up your eyes?

Anonymous said...

Look around round
Look around round round
Look around

Dear Prudence let me see your smile
Dear Prudence like a little child
The clouds will be a daisy chain
So let me see your smile again
Dear Prudence won't you let me see you smile

Dear Prudence won't you come out to play
Dear Prudence greet the brand new day
The sun is up the sky is blue
It's beautiful and so are you

Anonymous said...

560 WFIL

Jeff LEland said...

lol, i'm drunk

Anonymous said...

Free Willy.

Anonymous said...

Drag, innit?

Anonymous said...

Oh dear, What can I do?
Baby's in black
And I'm feeling red.

Anonymous said...

Tell me, O, What can I do?

The Animal Rescue Site said...

Be magnanimous!

http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com/clickToGive/home.faces?siteId=3

Bin There, Done That said...

"shaggedy!
say, half of them who works this out!"

F*** this!
say the other half who doesn't.

Anonymous said...

Now they're going to make the Jacko concert a tribute concert with all the usual peeps participating.
Oh you know the ones!
Elton, Mudoona, Sheryl, Faul

Anonymous said...

And the Jacksons?

Anonymous said...

Alan Jackson will be there!

Anonymous said...

Well smack my ass and call me Sally!

The pig's in the meadow said...

Farm Aid is selling 2009 memberships. You will have access to the FarmYard immediately upon joining. Your membership will expire one year from the date of your initial registration.

Members have the chance to purchase two concert tickets based on availability. Tickets are NOT guaranteed to each member. Members must comply with Farm Aid's Ticketing User Agreement. If you violate the Ticketing User Agreement you will lose your FarmYard membership and your tickets will be revoked!

The abuse of a FarmYard membership and those privileges included will not be tolerated.

Well sheeutt!

Willie Nelson Schmelson said...

Aw, come on down! It'll be a good time, and the animals
will love it if you do.

Billy Bob said...

Dang!!

Daisy Mae said...

A'll be there! That's fer shure!

Anonymous said...

DOWN TO THE RIVER,
CAN YOU TAKE ME DOWN TO THE RIVER,
BABY, TAKE ME DOWN TO THE RIVER,
WHERE THE WATERS FLOW.

YEAH, WELL, I KNOW,
YEAH, I KNOW,
WELL, I KNOW,
I KNOW I WANNA GO.

Daisy Mae said...

Oh! I made a Michael Jackson joke! "A'll be there!"

Billy Bob the sinnging Trout said...

Take Me to the River!

Grumpy Farmer Brown said...

I hate it when trouts sinng!

Anonymous said...

Come on, baby don't you want to go
Come on, baby don't you want to go
To the same old place, sweet home Chicago

Now, one and one is two, two and two is four
I'm heavy loaded baby, I'm booked, I gotta go
Cryin' baby, honey, don't you want to go
Back to the same old place, my sweet home Chicago

Come on, baby don't you want to go
Com on, baby don't you want to go
To the same old place, sweet home Chicago

Now two and two is four, six and two is eight
Come on baby, don't you make me late
I'm cryin' hey, baby, don't you want to go
To the same old place, sweet home Chicago

Come on, baby don't you want to go
Com on, baby don't you want to go
To the same old place, sweet home Chicago

Two and two is four, four and two is six,
keep stayin out late at night you gonna get your business fixed.

Six and two is eight, eight and two is ten
She double crossed you one time
and she gonna do it again.

I'm goin to Chicago, two thousand miles away,
Boy won't you tell me that you'll be my friend someday.

JP McCartney said...

Well it's a
one two three four
five six seven eight nine!

Mrs. Grumpy Old Farmer Brown said...

And they never get the words right either!

Anonymous said...

YEAH, TELL ME ABOUT KANSAS CITY!

Richard Brautigan Floyd said...

Hey! Farmers!
Leave them trouts alone!

Anonymous said...

What's a farmer?

Kansas City Blues said...

All you sinners drop everything
everything
Let the melody and the harmony ring
let it ring
Lift arms up to Heaven and sing
ring-a-ding
Sing you sinners woncha sway n' swing
what a thing

Start with clappin' y'hands all about
all about
Don't be silent - Let the Lord hear y'shout
shout it out
And jus' let the music come out
of yr snout
Sing you sinners woncha sway n' swing
check it out
(Dig the drift of what I mean)

In a world where there's no music
(Old Scratch)
Satan gets his kicks
(He's up to his tricks)
He'll be laughing up and down the banks
(Hee, hee, hee)
Of that river Styx

You're so wicked baby, and you're depraved
You can rave
It's apparent that you have misbehaved
To your grave
But if you should wanna be saved
Jus' behave
Take a listen now to the bird...

Stop all that chewin' yer cud - and all that standin' in the mud there
Swing people! Swing every chortle from yer mortal portal
I dig that everyone believes that all cattle prodigies
are like a sneeze
Hard blowin'-missin one lick of blowin' talent to show

(If y'sing - y' gotta swing!)

But remember that the day will come when you
will be just steak on a plate
(Folks, y'know it's fate)
So dig the music of the swing-o-sphere -
(before your swing arrives too late)

That's a little too dark
Still, it's true - we've got breath for such a limited time
What are ya, stupid, ya cows?? - you'd think to sing was a crime

In defense now; hence now; Here's comes Adele McCluck:

Mrs. Mockingbird, I must say you haven't heard
the friendly bellowing swing of our friends the cows -
as they shed their way from Teagarden to Fuller
Instead of spendin' ev'ry day jus' sneakin' around
to life another lick -
These cats work on their cow-tone, so when they get up to blow
They blow a fatter bone-tone into the ozone

(And furthermore...)

You tweety-birds are always singin' away
Never givin' up thought of what you say
We cows do - shedding takes up most of our day
So when we start and settle in to play - we can say
A moo is an array of what we've always known to be
the best and only way to play

(What we mean to say is...)

Before the band will letcha sing
(Sing with Fletcher Henderson)
You've got to get y'self to swing
(Like the Bean or Satch)
So your horn can blow - a single note or two
of deeper thinking
(That's the way to swing)
So set your mind upon a tone
(When you're shedding all alone)
And you will have a cornerstone
(Like the bass trombone)
Blow your horn and take a bow
So that you're swinging like the cows
Pythagoras would be so proud of us!

Anonymous said...

And then the man he steps right up to the microphone
And says at last just as the time bell rings
'Thank you good night now it's time to go home'
And he make it fast with one more thing
'We are the Sultans of Swing'

Anonymous said...

What's a farmer?

(Puts on best Paul Harvey voice)

"A Farmer is a man who wears out two pairs of overalls making enough money to buy one.

A Farmer can shape an ax handle from a persimmon sprout and shoe a horse with a hunk of car tire.

A Farmer starts every year with nothing, loses everything he grows, and at the end of the year comes out even.

A Farmer is made of bent nails, rusty horseshoes, and barbed wire and is held together with calluses.

Planting time and harvest season he finishes his 40-hour week by Tuesday noon . . then painin' from "tractor back" he puts in another 72.

A Farmer can fix anything with a hammer, nails, and pliers. . he can even make harness out of a combination of hay wire, feed sacks, and shoe scraps.

He grows corn and melons mostly to make fat crows and squirrels.

A Farmer loads his planter with $1,500 worth of seed, fertilizer, herbicide and insecticide, and comes back in another hour to do it again.

In a normal farm afternoon, 1 to 10 p.m., he'll bury $13,000 in the ground, and that doesn't include labor or depreciation. Odds are it'll get too wet or too dry or there'll be hail, wind, early frost, early snow, bugs, brickbats, and bureaucrats. Even if he gets a good crop, he won't meet expenses.

Yet, most of the lines on a farmer's face are from grinnin'.

You look at his unattended chores, unpainted buildings, unsharpened tools and untidy barn lot, and you say, "The smartest man in the world would starve trying to do all that!" And you're right. The smartest man in the world would starve.

But not the Farmer. His wife won't let him. She has a basic menu - she serves what she has.

In good years, that may be six vegetables at one meal. In lean years, she jumps from cornbread and beans to beans and cornbread, or goes looking for dandelion greens along the road.

A Farmer orders a 17-foot disk for $6,500, by the time it's delivered it's $10,500, and then there is a part missing.

He's got a $60,000 machine needing repair. It's 5:30 pm, and the company-owned stores are closed. And he's got 5 hours of daylight he can't let go to waste.

So he borrows a machine from a neighbor and is movin' it dodwn the highway when he's run into a ditch by some joker pulling a boat, bought with money saved by America's low food prices.

Yet a Farmer remains the world's most stubborn optimist:

He believes that the fact he's come this far proves he can go the rest of the way.

He buries lst year's disappointment with springtime plowin', because his faith is not in himself alone.

He finishes a hard week's work witha 5-mile drive to church.

And so he plants in hope, cultivates in faith and ends in debt - then starts over with greater hope and even stronger faith.

Heaven help the family that depends on a farmer for support.

Heaven help the nation that doesn't have him to support it.
Amen."

http://pages.prodigy.net/ckmalmberg/personal/farmer.html

Anonymous said...

" The ground is cracked
because there is no rain in the land;
the farmers are dismayed
and cover their heads."

The Bridge over the River Kwai said...

All You Need is Love!

Puss in Boots said...

Even the cats are begging:

http://englishrussia.com/?p=2356

Mother Duck said...

Obladee Obladah
Obladee in the pot nine days old

Big Mama Leonie said...

Momma don't 'llow no nursery rhymin'
Mother Duckers 'round here.

Mother Duck and the Goslings said...

I don't care what Mama Leonie don't allow
I'm gonna nursery rhyme the Phoney Blog any how!

song I learned as a kid said...

Three cheers for the red, white, and blue
For a duck maybe somebody's mother!

Anonymous said...

Well isn't that just Ducky?

Anonymous said...

Hey, diddle, diddle!
The cat and the fiddle,
The cow jumped over the moon;
The little dog laughed
To see such sport,
And the dish ran away with the spoon.

Duck Soup said...

Mrs. Teasdale: I've sponsored your appointment because I feel you are the most able statesman in all Freedonia.

Firefly: Well, that covers a lot of ground. Say! You cover a lot of ground yourself! You'd better beat it. I hear they're gonna tear you down and put up an office building where you're standing. You can leave in a taxi. If you can't get a taxi, you can leave in a huff. If that's too soon, you can leave in a minute and a huff. You know, you haven't stopped talking since I came here. You must have been vaccinated with a phonograph needle.

Duck Soupy Sales said...

Doc, Ya gotta help me!
It's my wife; she thinks she's a taxi cab!

A taxicab?!

That's right!

Well, why don't you take her to a psychiatrist?

What?! I can't afford to take a taxi anywhere!

Anonymous said...

600!

Anonymous said...

First again!!!

Anonymous said...

Lovely to see you again, my friend!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fg_yiThXYYI

Anonymous said...

WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO? NOW BILLY MAYS IS DEAD!!

Anonymous said...

ShamWow (or "ShamPow" as the case may be) VINCE IS OUR ONLY HOPE!

COME BACK VINCE!!

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